Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Braves 2008 Wrap-up: Pitchers

Everyone's doing year-end posts, and you can basically read the same information about the team as a whole at 1000 different sites. I decided to do things a little differently (as we usually do here), by discussing each player that has spent time with the Braves this season. All players will be listed in alphabetical order by last name...

Pitchers are up first!

Manny Acosta -- He wasn't the worst fill-in closer possible until Gonzo returned, but he wasn't the best. I attribute that to his inexperience in the majors. I've heard he's a nice kid; watch for him to return in the bullpen next year.

Jeff Bennett -- He can start or relieve, he's the team barber, he loves his family, he eats sunflower seeds instead of tobacco, and he has -- hands-down -- the best butt on the team. What a keeper!

Blaine Boyer -- Blaine earned a few nicknames in my house this year, all of them silly and fun. I like Blaine, his firebeard, and his tendency to gravitate towards the funnier guys on the team. I also kind of have a soft spot for him because he's one of the former Baby Braves.

Francisley Bueno -- I do not remember much about Bueno at all!

Jorge Campillo -- A reliever-turned-starter who was solid whenever Bobby called on him this year. I hope we re-sign him; he was a great addition to the team.

Buddy Carlyle -- I still don't care for Buddy. He had a good season, statistics-wise, and he's got an adorable son, but...I don't like him. Next!

Jairo Cuevas -- Another I don't remember.

Matt DeSalvo -- Not here long enough to form an opinion, I suppose. Chop Talk says he was sent to AAA and refused the assignment, so he's a free agent now.

Elmer Dessens -- Wasn't here long, didn't do a whole lot. I like his name. :)

Tom Glavine -- Ah, Tommy. Two trips to the DL after 20+ years of professional baseball with none...that means you're getting old, dear. As much as I'd like to see him get one last hurrah, I don't know how effective he can be anymore. We'll see if he's at Spring Training, and in what capacity.

Mike Gonzalez -- Battled back from injury, set Atlanta (and thousands of girls' hearts) on fire, then rolls out of the last home game with a purse. I am still reeling from that. :D

Mike Hampton -- Honestly, I never expected Hammy to throw a single pitch this year. His performance in these last 15 games or so has been great, and I'd even say it was good enough to offer him a (significantly reduced) contract for next year.

Tim Hudson -- Huddy, baby. I still can't believe he got bitten by the injury bug too -- and of all things, Tommy John surgery! At least he gave us a few laughs and sat all pretty in the dugout. If he pitches at all next year, watch for him in late August or September.

Chuck James -- Did Chuck hide his shoulder injuries, or was he just being bullheaded, trying to pitch through them? Either way, I don't expect him to be a Brave for long.

Jorge Julio -- In 12 games, he only allowed 1 run for an ERA of 0.73. That's wonderful. Let's hope this wasn't a fluke and he comes back just as strong next year in middle relief.

Jair Jurrjens -- My Rookie of the Year. JJ started out as our #5 guy in spring training and ended up being the ace. He's mature on the mound, he's funny, and he's adorable! What's not to love?!

Charlie Morton -- Aww, Charlie. Charlie is one that I've completely overlooked his record and short starts because he's such a lovvie. He's humble, mature, and has great stuff. He just needs to get cocky to scare his opponents. On the other hand, he should also keep tossing balls to little girls in the stands to earn new fans. He'll be great. I hope he becomes a lifer.

Peter Moylan -- Pete! My heart broke when he "experienced a setback" in the bullpen the day before my birthday and he had surgery just a few short days later. I hope he can come back next year stronger than ever. (Aside: of all the Braves who look into the stands during BP, I'm fairly certain he recognizes me every time. I sit in the same area and I have quite the white-girl 'fro -- it's easy to spot, I'm sure. He always kind of looks afraid of me, though. No reason to! Dude, one of your friends borrowed a couple of my pictures for your official website -- we can be friends!)

Vladimir Nunez -- Weird-looking, but also a fine addition to the bullpen.

Will Ohman -- LOVE. Surprise love, actually. I follow the Cubs and knew about his tiffs there before leaving Chicago, and certainly didn't expect him to come here and be all hilarious and awesome and wonderful. Frank, please make sure he's back next year. "You're the man, aren't you?" "Believe it."

James Parr -- Eyebrows is showing promise. Let's see what happens next year.

Chris Resop -- Um, gone.

Royce Ring -- Best athlete of the relief pitchers, I think. The center-field wall leaps kept me amused during BP.

Jo-Jo Reyes -- Bobby's done with Jo-Jo, and so am I. Good luck with the new baby, though!

Jeff Ridgway -- Much cuter without his hat, I discovered.

John Smoltz -- Hanging out with so many Smoltz fans this year has given me a bit of writer's block; all I can think is the word "fur" and hearing Jennifer laugh. So let's say this: 3000 strikeouts was a huge accomplishment and basically cemented his Hall of Fame induction. That game was electric, and I hope -- if he's able and effective -- the Braves give him another shot in 2009.

Rafael Soriano -- Sori, Sori, Sori. Looking back, all I remember is him going home to the Dominican in the middle of the season. He was our closer for a while, but he and Manny always looked like they were going to kill someone! Maybe that's just their face. Hmm.

Phil Stockman -- I blame his kangaroo balls stunt on our extreme bad luck this year. Not all Aussies are created equal! ;)

Julian Tavarez -- FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!!


CABravesFan said...

5 long months of no Pete and Huddy and Bennett's butt...so sad

by the way-Bueno was the kid who came into a game (can't remember where)- hit someone, got suspended and promptly was returned to AAA
(and that is all I remember about him)

Lauren T. said...


Yell if I left anyone off, okay y'all? I can't believe I forgot Royce Ring -- just added him.

Leah said...

You forgot about Chris Resop. As bad as he was, I don't really blame you since he wasn't here very long at all.

Leah said...

And then there's Matt DeSalvo, who was there two games. I believe that's all, or that's all I see when looking on baseball-reference.com.

Jennifer said...

OK. I only read one paragraph of this, and it was the one that consisted mostly of "fur," which was excellent, but I think you should ammend that to add "bubble-butt." <3 Oh, and add that pink balloon picture you like so much. He loves our boobies. :D Love him. <3

"FIGHT" almost made me spit water at my screen. Thanks for that. :D What the hell am I supposed to tell the Geek Squad guys when that happens? Heee!

Oh, and the preferred term is "Smoltzie Freaks.: ;) Heh.

Lauren T. said...

Thanks Leah, I added both. Not much to say on either, but it's more complete now. :)

Lo said...

LOL I never knew we had an Elmer.

Sigh. Gonzo. She'll never get over the murse. But that's okay. We still luv you.

Jennifer said...

He just looks like he put way too much effort into that. Who wants a man who takes longer to get ready than we do?

Lauren T. said...

You know he gets manicures. Probably waxes his eyebrows, too. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!)

CABravesFan said...

If a man that beautiful wants to carry a purse he can carry a purse:)

Lo said...

I'm with you,cabravesfan. Gonzie can do whaaateverrrr he wants and its fine by me. I'd even carry his purse FOR him. :D

Just call me shameless.